John Watson: I’m not in love with Sherlock Holmes. I can’t be, because I am married to a woman.
Imagine Person A of your OTP taking a fatal blow for Person B, yet instead of having a dramatic death scene play out, Person A is dead before they hit the ground.
|—||the best text I’ve ever received (via soulsscrawl)|
|—||something that someone said to me recently and I think about it a lot. (via writerings)|
Random Gigolas stuff?
I’d like to cancel my subscription to Menstrual Cycle Monthly
I’m sorry, it appears you’ve taken out a fifty-sixty year subscription. However, we can pause it for nine months as long as you sign a contract that says you’ll take out a subscription to Baby Daily for at least eighteen years
Damn those Terms and Conditions.
i didn’t even read them i’ve made a terrible mistake
Penis and XY required to be man? False.
Only things required to be a man are:
also today some kid mentioned the red hot chili peppers and i was like “oh i love that band” and they were like “oh yeah name five songs by them” and i listed five of my favourites and he hesitated and then said “maybe you do like them”
Why is it on a pieCE OF CHEESE
Why do you make your senteNCES CAPITALIZED AS THEY PROGRESS
because it proviDES A SENSE OF SUDDEN ANGER/REALIZATION
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point